


No Time Like the Present

by Charlynn Schmiedt (ohtheprofanity)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Coda, Episode Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-25
Updated: 2011-10-25
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:24:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohtheprofanity/pseuds/Charlynn%20Schmiedt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kathryn Janeway ponders how her near-death experience has changed her. Set just after the events of "Coda."</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Time Like the Present

**Author's Note:**

> All standard disclaimers apply. Just having fun with one of my favorite characters.

_"Bottle of champagne, moonlight sail on Lake George. How does that sound?"_

 _"Like something worth living for."_

Kathryn stared into the mirror. She wasn't convinced that the reflection looking back at her was really there. The alien presence had done a number on her psyche, making her question whether or not she was actually in her reality or still being lured into the alien's matrix. She took a deep breath. She *was* here, dammit. She had beaten the alien posing as her father. It was over. Slowly, doing her best to relax, she exhaled and focused on the task at hand.

She was in her quarters, deciding on an outfit to wear for her and Chakotay's holodeck date on Lake George. She was due there in five minutes.

Wait, was it a date?

Maybe it was, Kathryn thought. Her mind wandered back to when she, as a ghostly version of herself, watched him gather her lifeless body into his arms.

.........................

"No, KATHRYN!" he wailed. "You can't die," he sobbed, as if saying the words would suddenly make the statement come true.

She remembered watching the way he carefully laid her body back on the ground, looking as though he wished he was dead himself. His eyes didn't leave her, not once, but the sight broke his heart. He could barely speak when Voyager finally established a comm link.

.........................

The day's events made it clear that Chakotay cared for her more than as an officer and a friend -- it was deeper than that. She couldn't shake the feelings such a thought brought up. Things between them hadn't been the same since their six weeks alone on New Earth; how could they _not_ have changed? Had Voyager not come back for them, they would have inevitably capitulated to the feelings they developed for each other while there. They would have become lifemates, lovers, raised a family together...

...and she threw it all away the moment she put on her Starfleet uniform again. Or so she thought, or wanted to believe. It was easier that way. That was there, this was Voyager. The two lives were incompatible.

Right?

Kathryn closed her eyes. They were incompatible only because of her reluctance. Her sense of duty dictated that she fully immerse herself in commanding the ship and finding a way home. She owed that to her crew. A relationship stood in the way of giving her top priority all the attention it deserved, and a relationship with her first officer would only complicate matters further.

On the other hand, the core of her being -- the _real_ Kathryn -- yearned for all that she had on New Earth. Even now, her curious mind didn't waver on wondering what a romantic relationship with Chakotay would be like. Despite being from such different backgrounds -- he from tradition and family and she from duty and science -- they complemented each other in nearly every way. Together, their pooled strengths and weaknesses made them both better people. That's what made them such a strong command team, and that's what could ultimately make a deeper relationship between them work. She wanted a family, and the unfortunate truth was, she wasn't getting any younger on this long journey home. Neither was Chakotay. He had always expressed an interest in having a family, and fatherhood would undoubtedly suit him.

*Oh shit,* Kathryn realized, *I've gone through this argument a hundred times in my head and never has this side won.*

Something in her mentality was clearly different.

*Cheating death would do that, wouldn't it?*

The alien was right about one thing: she worked in a dangerous profession. Living to see tomorrow wasn't a guarantee. Putting things in her life on hold until they got home just wouldn't do. Not anymore.

Kathryn opened her closet, pulled out her favorite white dress and put it on. It was simple and flowing, showing off her curves in all the right places without being provocative. She loved how the sleeveless design offered a more casual look while remaining elegant. *Perfect.*

Next order of business: hair. She removed the clip holding her hair back at the base of her neck. Instead of wearing it all down, she decided on bringing up the sides and letting the rest of it fall.

Impulsively, she walked into her bathroom, reached for her favorite bottle of perfume in her medicine cabinet and gave her neck a generous dab of the fragrance. It was something she wore only on special occasions.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror once more and studied herself. Physically, she was ready for her outing on the holodeck, but was she emotionally ready for what could happen if she let it?

An answer shot back in her mind: Yes. If not now, never.

*No time like the present,* Kathryn thought with a crooked grin.

Mischievous thoughts ran amok in her mind as to what could potentially happen with the evening as she confidently strode out of her quarters. It made her smile.

*I am _alive_ ,* she thought.


End file.
